"The Biggest Loser" and Body Image - From A Recent Fitness Freak's Perspective

I really was going to wait a little longer to write something like this. I was going to sort it all out in my head and get it all right in my heart. I was going to be good at it myself before I told other people to do the same.

But I said, screw it.

No one wants to listen to someone who has it all together, and sometimes it's easier to talk about it when you're right in the middle of it, as opposed to after the fact when your perspective is a little different. You forget some of the really hard parts. So here goes.

Social media is going nuts right now with the results of Rachel Frederickson - the winner of this season's "The Biggest Loser". I don't watch the show or even have cable in order know the outcome: Google and Facebook are enough to tell me that everyone is freaking out and I probably should too.

Like a rational social media user, I decided to look into more details of the story before I started spouting off conclusions on the issue. The basic facts are that Rachel was a 260 pound woman who went on The Biggest Loser, and won the show at 105 pounds. Here is one of the pictures that has people upset.

People are saying that she looks too thin, gaunt, and unhealthy. There's also the group of people who are angry at those who shame skinny girls. And the people who shame overweight girls. And the people whose definition of "skinny" and "overweight" differ. The whole thing is a giant uproar about what is and looks "healthy". 

There are far too many, better written posts surrounding this particular story, so I won't dig any deeper into this one. I will just state my opinion that The Biggest Loser is a terrible depiction of healthy weight loss, and their timelines are unrealistic for any sort of sustainability. There is a lot of deception and false hope for people who are struggling with losing weight, and it is damaging a lot of mindsets.

But my issue right now is with something a little bit different. I can recognize the improbability of extreme weight loss and quick fixes. I'm past that point. My body is at the point of incredibly slow transformation that is not much to talk about. People excitedly ask me, "How much weight have you lost?" The truth is, not much in total. If I'm being honest, I will tell you that I haven't lost a single pound in 6 months. My inches have pretty much stayed the same. I have some progress pictures (for my eyes only at this point) that seem to barely change. Slow and steady weight loss is key, they tell me. Well some days I get pretty darn frustrated with the slowness of it all, and actually desire some Biggest Loser style transformations in my body. But then...

I think about my motivation behind all of this. This is what I have struggled with the most. Do I want to be healthy? Yes. Do I want to be fit so I can do physical activities? Yes. Do I want to feel good on the inside because I'm eating clean? Yes. Do I want to inspire people? Yes. Do I want to challenge myself to do something I've never done before? Yes. Do I want to be the hottest girl on the beach this summer? Ummm...well....yeahkindamaybeyes.

I've had verrrrrry many conversations with myself and others about this topic of motivation, and I can honestly say I have surrounded myself with the best, most kind-hearted people imaginable. I am always being reminded of how beautiful I am, to have balance in my life, and encouragement to do this for healthy, not vain, reasons.

And I know that. But do I know that? In the depths of my heart, do I know that being "hot" is not a beneficial motivator to become fit and healthy? It's definitely a struggle. Part of it comes from my own perceptions of other people's expectations. I train 5 days a week and eat according to a strict meal plan 95% of the time. Those around me see this and tell me they are inspired by my dedication and focus. They also sometimes tell me they can't wait to see the results of my hard work. Well neither can I, but I think I have convoluted ideas about what those will look like. And about what others think they will look like.

I follow a lot of "fitspo" on Instagram, and most of it is very inspiring and encouraging. I repost a lot of it myself. But then there's stuff that until recently, I followed with no second thoughts. Pictures of girls I aspire to look like. Pictures of girls with fit bodies, gorgeous hair, and sexy poses. Pictures of girls that fit my idea of "fit and sexy". Quite literally as I was writing this post, Justin sent me this picture with the message, "I saw this and thought of you and your struggles today. You are awesome, amazing, and beautiful. Instagram chicks are whack."

Hilarious and so so true. A bikini competitor is something I will become in a year, and I am so incredibly excited for the challenge. But I do NOT want to be confused for a porn star. Oh my gosh, no.

While most of what drives me is completely genuine and healthy, there is this small part that I know needs to go. It's the jealousy, the superiority, the need to be more than others. It's an ugly monster that sneaks its way under my bed from time to time. I figure being honest about it to the whole world is a way to get rid of it permanently. I love this fitness life, but I don't have room for that nonsense.

It all comes down to body image and for me, discovering what God says about my body. It's so much more than the "I love my body!" mantra. And yet, that's all it is. Loving ourselves. The whole way through. Loving ourselves when we decide we want to lose some weight. Loving ourselves while we are losing weight. Loving ourselves when we are not trying to lose weight. Loving ourselves when we've reached a goal. Loving ourselves when we are frustrated with not meeting our goals. Loving ourselves through the entire journey of life, no matter what stage we are in.

One of the benefits of being the youngest person in my workplace by about 20 years is that I get to soak in all sorts of wisdom and insight by beautiful women with great life experience. I admire all of these women and think they are all truly gorgeous and wonderful. And they think I'm just the bomb with my 24-year-old body, skin, and hormones. Most days I find it hilarious and charming and a little ridiculous. But some days I really look at what they are trying to say to me. "You are young and vibrant and beautiful. Your body is going to go through a lot of different things over the years, so enjoy it now. Your youth is something to relish in and live out to the fullest. Don't waste time talking negatively about yourself. You are lovely."

I see so much beauty in their wisdom, in their faces, in their bodies. I value their words and the depth of them as they finally reach my heart. They are so right. There is no time for negative words about my body image, especially while I'm young, and probably in the best shape I will ever be in. Aging is beautiful and I don't fear it, but I do fear regretting the way I felt about myself while I was young.

So I am learning to love my body - the whole way through.