All right, folks! Here's the part where I explain what on earth I'm doing with my work outs/eating that you may have seen peeking out on Facebook and Instagram. I promise it will come back to and relate to the regular things I blog about that you may be intrigued by, so don't go away just yet if fitness scares the bajeebers out of you.
I never thought I would actually be writing about this and letting more than my close friends know what is happening with my body. But over the past month, I have received an overwhelming amount of support, encouragement, and QUESTIONS about it all. I hope to shed some light on this new element in my life, and do what I ultimately always hope to do with this blog: inspire you.
As you may know, Justin has always been interested in fitness. He desires to help people reach their fitness goals, he researches and studies trainers, methods, and gyms, and his dream is to one day open his own gym. (I feel confident enough that it will happen to put it out on the internet.) And while I have changed a lot of my lifestyle since we've been together, I was never fully on board.
I'm the girl who has been trying to lose "the last 10 pounds" for about 12 years; since I hit puberty, probably. I will never forget the horrifying moment in the 7th grade gym changing room when I realized that I had a little roll at the bottom of my belly. I knew from that day forward, I had to do everything in my power to hide it. I never thought much about "fixing" it or doing anything about it. I was terrible at sports and hated running, (the only known and acceptable ways to exercise in junior high) and I wasn't about to stop eating chips at birthday parties. I didn't know much about metabolisms, but I did know I had friends who could eat the same things as me, move as little as me, and still weigh 20 pounds less than me. I sort of accepted it as my lot in life and moved on. I had regular teenage girl body issues, learned to love myself, became a bit more active, and was very content with who I am.
I want to make it very clear that this is still the case. I am very content with who I am.
That is in no way at the root of my new found passion for fitness. It can't just be about looking good. It just can't. Then I have lost my
purpose,
my identity, and my values. I don't believe in that, and I never will.
My body does not define me. What I've discovered though, is that my
passions help shape who I am. And these past 7 months have developed a
true passion in me for fitness.
As I mentioned, I have never been athletic, so I was never able to say I was interested
in sports. But I wanted to be. I wanted to run and enjoy it. I wanted to
be able to have strength and not huff and puff whenever I was asked to
lift something. I wanted to be good at something
that involved my body. I am always moving, so I think it's fitting. When
I discovered how much adrenaline, confidence, and excitement filled me
from working out, I knew that was what I wanted. I found something I
could push my limits in, see results, and become
passionate about an activity that other people can get pumped about as
well. Yeah there's people who take it much too far and become obsessed,
but I don't have a fear of going there. I don't think I could give up
ice cream forever. ;) The feeling of doing a
certain movement, and knowing that I have potential to do it with much
better form, weight, and energy, motivates me to push myself further.
When I'm in the moment and sweating like crazy, I rarely motivate myself
with "You're going to look so good after
this!" anymore, and have now gone more with something like, "You're only
going to get better at this movement!"
I also have a desire to be the best my body can be for my overall
health. I have hardly been sick since I started seriously working out
and eating healthy, compared to my constant low immune system previously. I
have more energy, more confidence, and have a desire
to live a long healthy life. I have been thinking a lot about how this
needs to be a God-honouring passion, as all my passions should be. I
believe God desires us to be healthy and live long, fulfilled lives so
that we can impact, encourage, and inspire others.
I really hope that I can inspire others in fitness, and form
relationships that I wouldn't have otherwise made.
Another huge part of it is
supporting Justin in his passion to own a
gym and train people. I have always wanted to be a part of his dream,
and now that I'm more submersed in the fitness
world, I am getting far more excited about actually achieving that with
him. I can see it happening, see how I fit into it, and can support him
fully.
So do I need help keeping my self-image in check? Absolutely. I am
making a stand to never be cocky, obsessed, or condescending regarding
my fitness. My goal is to inspire people (and myself) to be healthy and
accomplish the goals they have. I realize that
everyone's goals are different, but all important. I will also not talk
negatively about where my body is at, because I know that I am beautiful
and blessed no matter what phase of my goals I am in.
*Most of what I just wrote was an e-mail sent to my best friend who had a lot of excellent, challenging questions for me. Love you, C!
So! What am I actually doing? I have been working out on my own and eating clean since January. I have lost about 15 pounds and have greatly improved my strength and stamina. What I decided to do, to take it to the next level, was hire a personal trainer from Freak Fitness with an intense 12 week program. I am on a strict meal plan where all my food is weighed and measured. Don't ask me what I can't eat, because it's more like: eat just these 10 foods in these amounts every day! I will get some cheat meals eventually. I train at the gym three days a week with weights and circuits, and do cardio twice a week.
Today is day 9 and I am loving it so far! Well most of it. I would rather work out for two hours straight than to be tempted with all the food that seems to be constantly around me! But I am determined to keep up my social life, deal with the temptation, and delight in my will power that is growing stronger by the day! I don't plan on deviating from my program for 12 weeks, and I have a lot of people keeping me accountable and rooting for me! I am blown away with the support, and I plan to make you proud! I will continue to post my progress if you're interested, and hope to inspire you in your own goals. Please let me know if you have questions or even need some encouragement.
Love you all!
