Transformations

Have you ever had a life changing experience? (Yes, probably) Have you ever had a spiritual life changing experience? (Perhaps) Maybe a youth convention or a powerful worship time in church. You may have gone to a really good conference or an intimate moment where you heard God speak to you. Or you could have even gone to Bible school or a missions trip for a good long while and got all sorts of life changing knowledge, experience, and truths that will stay with you. I think these are wonderful. But I also think we (I) hop from one of these to another with far too little in between.

I am a pro at radical, emotional, spiritual highs that leave me feeling amazing, empowered, and ready to tell the whole world about how great my Jesus is. When I say pro, I mean really good at often making them the center of my walk with Christ and living from one phenomenal experience to the next. And it DOESN'T WORK.

Thinking back to high school in particular, before I learned to better maintain and understand my emotions. I get all jazzed up after youth on a Friday night or after a month at camp. But after a while, I'd slowly start to fade out and wonder what happened. "I guess it just wasn't powerful enough to change me forever." Not that I'd go into some sort of crazy alternate life that involved substance abuse or violent behavior. But everyone has their secret sins and regular habits that don't involve a lifestyle that is always ready to share the kingdom.

Because of a big move and church change when I was 12, I got baptized later than most of my friends at the age of 17. I was going through some stuff I really wanted to break free from, and I was convinced that publicly being baptized in my large home church would be the answer. It was big, it was emotional, I had tons of people supporting me, and it had Jesus-filled written all over it. I was so ready. So I got baptized, consciously changed my behavior for a few weeks, and "fell off the band wagon" shortly after. I felt I had failed, that I wasn't a strong enough Christian, that I didn't truly know how to live for Christ and be a change maker in the world around me. And slowly, I finally learned.

When I was maybe 19 I asked my mom, "How do I be more logically led? I am so emotional and it really damages my decisions and makes me feel like a crazy person sometimes." She answered with something that I think about on a regular basis. She said, "Melanie, you don't need to be logically or emotionally led. You need to be spiritually led." Wow. Maybe that won't have the same effect on you that it did on me, but it totally rocked my world and the way I made decisions.

The point I'm getting around to is that our life walk as radical followers of Christ is a 100% constant renewal of our mind and transformation that may look different every day. Yes, those big, life changing experiences or times in our life are incredibly important to how we are shaped and our perspective on life. But we all know we can't live in a constant state of that. How many times have you wished you could just stay at camp or Bible school or YWAM or some place that just saturates you with the Word and surrounds you with people who are rip raring to go about the Gospel? It's a contagious atmosphere, and often keeps us in line with where God wants us to go. But unless you decide to make a career out of missions (which is still a constant state of change and renewal), we all live in a world that has the potential to constantly changes our minds and attitudes about the way we pursue our lifestyles and what we dedicate our time to.

Romans 12:2 is the best example of this kind of life when it says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." The way to be transformed is in the renewing of our minds on a regular basis: before, during, and after the crazy experiences. Filling our ordinary days with teaching, worship, prayer, reading; anything that gets us focused and able to approve what God's will is. Which sounds like so much WORK! Having moments that other people orchestrate that we are a part of seems like such a better way to go about things, and it is definitely a part of finding more of God. I run a ministry that does exactly that, for goodness sake, but I have learned that it CANNOT stop there. We can't wait around till the next one to meet God. He's not an acquaintance that we go for coffee with once a month. He desires to be our most intimate friend, which requires time, energy, love, and a renewal and focus of our minds.

Sorry if it seems like I blog about the most basic of ideas, but I heard in a great message that so much of our learning comes from being reminded of something we already know, and letting the Holy Spirit be our divine reminder. John 14:26 "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." Ever notice how some of the best messages you hear are about something you've known since kindergarten, but you just heard it in a different way? I LOVE that! 

May the Holy Spirit bring to remembrance the things you have seen on missions trips, the things He has told you in secret, the things you have experienced in conferences and worship. And may you use those things to move forward, to fill in the times in between with His plan for you and your focus on Him. Keep renewing and transforming. Forever.

My Mom's Story

Goodness, it has been a while since I wrote a post, so I apologize for that. I have been wanting to share my mom's story, but timing was very key. Now we're ready, and hope that you can benefit from the telling of God's grace in our lives. 

Many of my blog readers know the story of what happened to my mom, or at least know the basics. Now that much of the chaos has subsided, and my mom has approved of this telling, I will share the story of the tragedy, her continuing journey, and ultimately, God’s goodness.

Friday, November 30 around 6:30pm, I was getting ready for my best friend’s birthday party. Some of the boys were over practicing a perfectly hilarious skit to make our dear Claire laugh, and I was putting in some earrings when I got the phone call.

“Hello, are you Melanie? My name is (calm, nice lady) and I’m with your mom. She has been in a car accident.  She is all right, and she is talking. She asked me to call you and to tell your dad what happened.”

Panic. Fear. Slow down. Calm. She said she was all right; I just need to tell Dad.

Phone. More panic. Confusion. Many more phone calls. Calm.

My dad headed to the hospital, and I continued to slowly put on clothes and tell the boys what had happened. We would wait to hear more news, and go to the hospital afterward. Everything was mediocrely ok. Press on to have a good time, and not disappoint my lovely.

Then the second call came that turned mediocre into terror and tears. The other driver didn’t make it.

In a moment of falling apart, my brother’s first response was intense prayer that solidified our faith in our Father, even in terrible and confusing situations. I felt His Presence as I wept for many things. We left for the ER.

From that point on were days of grief, bewilderment, and pain; but never despair. The immediate reactions of our family and closest friends were the pure image of grace God designed for us. The ER room was overflowing with loving family and the most beautiful friends all there to support my mom and us. I had to laugh at the twelve other faces I saw before finding my dad (the only one I expected). The continuous flow of people didn’t stop as my mom’s hospital room was rarely without guests, flowers, and encouragement.

Her delightful friends covered her walls floor to ceiling with Scripture to keep her focused on what was important. Though tragedy surrounded her, she continued to look only to the One who could carry her through. Physically, just her leg was broken, but inside she had a much bigger battle to fight.

She shared some visions that God gave her about what she was going through. My favourite one is a picture of a huge canyon with just a swinging rope bridge going across. My sweet mother is standing on one side, knowing she needs to cross. But she is screaming in terror at God telling Him she can’t. She’s terribly afraid of heights in reality, and this journey seems like too much to bear. To face people. To find out more. To overcome the grief and guilt. To move forward. She asks God about the other people in her life who love her. He says to her, “They can’t walk this bridge for you, but they’re all on the other side waiting for you, and they’re pulling the ropes tighter to make it a little easier to cross.” And so she is crossing.

My mama is one of the toughest, bravest people I know, and has far too much love in her heart for a daughter like me. When she was in the scary ER, we held hands as she started to cry, and I said, “Mom, you get your focus right. You don’t think about anything else but Jesus.” She did, and she did it with such grace and beauty. She spoke only of God’s goodness and mercy, and kept looking to Him. It’s something you can hear about a thousand times, but it’s something else completely when you’re looking at it. My mom built her house before the storm, and had a strong foundation when it came. She could have been rocked, blown over, finished, too overwhelmed to go on. But she had a firm anchor like I’ve never seen. It’s a gigantic testimony to others to build up your foundation NOW, not when tragedy hits.

Some of the other things this accident has shown us is the love for each other within our family and never taking the people around us for granted, an increased love and concern for hurting people, and the most gorgeous picture of grace we need to extend, as we have received it in such abundance. So many people have been affected by her story, and she will continue to use what she can from it to glorify God.  

People are often asking me how she is doing, and I asked her how I should appropriately respond to that. She told me to tell of His goodness and unfailing love, and the work He is doing in her heart.  Her leg is still healing, and her journey isn’t over, but we serve a good God, and that is all that matters.

I love you, mama.