Being faithful

I am currently trying to not scream with excitement at God's goodness! He always comes through, even if we have given up or don't recognize His ways of blessing us. Sometimes we have to wait, sometimes we receive His blessings right away. Sometimes it is exactly what we were praying for, sometimes it is more than we could have ever believed possible, and sometimes it is something entirely different that may leave us a little confused. As of today, I feel blessed beyond belief and I am praising God for all of it. But first, let me tell you some things that are not so wonderful. Things that had me questioning, worrying, and full of grief. And yet, with each one comes a small victory and gift from our Father who takes such good care of us.

Justin has his own business, which comes with many pros and cons. Working for yourself is fantastic, and I find myself envious of his flexibility at times. It also means that you are responsible to front all of your expenses and losses. And while he has been incredibly blessed his first few years of business, it has come with a mighty amount of storms and disappointments. I'm going to be honest about all of them.

The first one occurred when he did thousands of dollars worth of work for a contractor who ended up not being able to pay him right away. Eight months later, we are still waiting for that check. Obviously that stings a little, especially since it was right around the time where he needed to buy a new trailer which set us back a few grand.

The next big hit was his trailer being broken into a few months ago, and most of his tools were stolen. We, uh, didn't have insurance. We learned our lesson, got insurance right away, but still had to repurchase thousands of dollars worth of equipment, while still paying subcontractors and regular expenses. God blessed us with the company Justin gets work from who paid for the tools upfront and slowly took the amount off his checks.

Only a short while later was his trailer broken into AGAIN! This time, there was serious damage to the trailer itself and it was left almost completely empty. Though we had insurance, the paperwork only went through the day before the theft, making us look suspicious and the process a lot more extensive. We are currently still waiting to be reimbursed once again. There were deductibles on both the trailer insurance and insurance on the tools, which was a hefty number. Around the same time, Justin got a letter saying he hadn't filed his 2009 taxes. Ridiculous, I know, but it comes with good news. He filed, and will be getting a return that nearly covers our deductibles.

Then there were a series of smaller but frustrating events including blowing out a tire on the trailer, another bag of tools gone missing, a flat on our truck, etc. We were so discouraged and couldn't figure out what to do. Both of us believe very strongly in tithing, being generous, and using our finances to glorify God. We had been so faithful, and had even increased our giving through this process. We knew God would take care of us, but it was looking so dismal in the meantime.

What happened next put me over the edge. Through our prophetic home group, we have been doing a lot of outreach to people and talking about how to truly love people, especially strangers who don't know Christ. A week ago, Justin really stepped out in that and inconvenienced himself by picking up a hitchhiker on his way to work (which I was not totally thrilled about, but he thought it would be ok). He encouraged him, shared Jesus with him, and dropped him off. When he got to work, he realized that his iPad had been stolen.

When I found out, I lost it. All I could do was cry and feel like giving up. The iPad was a Christmas gift from me, had tons of important information on it, and was used for the business. This felt like the final straw. We felt that we were doing everything right, and even when we went out of our way to show Christ's love, we got burned. I felt sick and so terribly disappointed. But my incredible husband encouraged us in a different way. He was just as upset as I was, but we realized that our value was not in our material things. This wasn't a person who had been taken from us, but a series of objects; things that were important, but not worth grieving over. Justin was inconvenienced in his time, and that extended to his possessions as well. But he was still glad he did it.

Now it is tax time, which is always different being self-employed. We have been setting aside money to cover our upcoming tax bill. Because of all of the added expenses throughout the year, we didn't set aside as much as we intended to. But we were hoping that with the amount of write offs, we would be able to pay the bill without cutting into any other finances.

Well I am so stoked to find out that not only am I getting money back, but Justin is also getting a small refund, which means all of the money that was set aside is OURS!!!! We will have a huge amount of extra money that we don't have to pay to taxes!!!! God is so good and we are more than thankful for the way He provides. Let this be an encouragement to stay faithful to Him, even when things look terrible. He has an answer when we put our faith in Him.